{"product_id":"up-since-3am-cotton-embroidered-22672","title":"Up Since 3AM Cotton Embroidered Adjustable Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003ePre-emptively answering the question \"How are you doing?\" saves vital energy, which is exactly why the Up Since 3AM Cotton Embroidered Adjustable Hat was created. In the trenches of early parenthood, extreme sleep deprivation becomes your defining personality trait. This hat acts as a literal timestamp of your exhaustion, transforming a deeply painful reality into a highly relatable badge of honor. This minimalist cap is designed for the exhausted parent who is running strictly on caffeine, sheer willpower, and the lingering hope of a midday nap.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCore Product Specifications\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaterial: 100% premium chino cotton twill for a soft, durable build that withstands daily wear and tear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStructure: Unstructured, 6-panel, low-profile design for a relaxed, custom fit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCrown: 3 ⅛ inch (7.6 cm) crown height, offering a modern silhouette.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eVisor: Pre-curved brim providing immediate sun and fluorescent lighting protection.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eVentilation: 6 embroidered eyelets for crucial airflow.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eClosure: Fully adjustable self-fabric strap paired with a premium antique brass buckle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUsage Context\u003cbr\u003e\nThe design features a clean, no-nonsense font that serves as a public warning label. It creates a hilarious visual contrast with the polite smiles expected in public. It is the perfect accessory for daycare drop-offs, navigating a crowded grocery store in a daze, or attending early morning meetings where your camera is strictly off. It acts as the ultimate inside joke for parents, giving a silent nod of mutual respect to other zombies in the wild.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Evilwater Originals","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":71105618346006,"sku":"6A2AF5DBE0060_7854","price":58.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy","offer_id":71105618378774,"sku":"6A2AF5DBE0060_7857","price":58.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cranberry","offer_id":71105618411542,"sku":"6A2AF5DBE0060_12735","price":58.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Spruce","offer_id":71105618444310,"sku":"6A2AF5DBE0060_8745","price":58.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey","offer_id":71105618477078,"sku":"6A2AF5DBE0060_12736","price":58.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Khaki","offer_id":71105618509846,"sku":"6A2AF5DBE0060_7855","price":58.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Stone","offer_id":71105618542614,"sku":"6A2AF5DBE0060_7859","price":58.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink","offer_id":71105618575382,"sku":"6A2AF5DBE0060_7858","price":58.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Light Blue","offer_id":71105618608150,"sku":"6A2AF5DBE0060_7856","price":58.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":71105618640918,"sku":"6A2AF5DBE0060_7853","price":58.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0691\/3576\/1430\/files\/il_fullxfull.8125202640_9sk7.jpg?v=1781596276","url":"https:\/\/evilwater-originals.com\/products\/up-since-3am-cotton-embroidered-22672","provider":"Evilwater Originals","version":"1.0","type":"link"}